How Much is Too Much?
Lately, there have been excesses. Some of the good kind, and some of the not so good kind. This got me thinking, how much is too much?
I just had a much needed vacation. I spent ten days in a tropical locale not doing much other than sitting around with a book and a drink, with a little bit of snorkeling, biking and kayaking thrown in. It was quite relaxing, but my mind didn’t shut off. Rather, as the days went on, I found my thoughts clearer, and I was able to process some things that have been happening in the Causality world and come up with pretty good solutions to some issues. By the end of the trip, I was ready to get back to it-to try to implement my newly conceived solutions, and be better at what I do around here. My “excess” of vacationing was ultimately a good thing, though it was hard to actually get back in the groove upon my return. But I did lose some momentum, and it set me to wondering if the relaxation was too much, in light of all that needs to be done. And I felt pretty guilty for checking out and enjoying myself while some not-so-good things were going on back in the real world.
While I was gone, Glynis had some excesses too. Only hers were decidedly not positive. She’s been pretty open about her mental issues on twitter, and on a Podcast to the Past that we have recorded (but as of the publishing of this post, not yet released), so I know she won’t mind me mentioning them here. I’ll leave the bulk of the details to her, but I will say that her excess was an overdose of prescription medication. Through the whole process of creating this show, she has had to deal with death, health issues, the messed up medical care system, and family angst. Through it all, she has maintained a strong level of professionalism on the business side, and ALWAYS the highest level of artistic effort as an actor/writer/producer/production designer. And she has become a close friend. She amazes me with her ability to pull it together when she has to, but once again, the question of “how much is too much?” comes to mind. How much can we as her partners in this project ask of her, knowing all the other things that she is dealing with? The answer to that came from her: it helps when there is work to do. She is happy when we are meeting, planning, making progress toward bringing the show she created with Montoure to life. Being on-set is best, but those other tasks keep her positively occupied and create an outlet that helps her deal with some of the shit that can spiral out of control when there isn’t much to do. So, the best thing we can do as partners and friends is to keep the momentum going. Not so easy when we’re still dealing with all of the things we’ve discussed before (challenging schedules of cast & crew, not much money to finance the things we need, etc.) But this week we did record a Podcast to the Past, lock three much-needed locations for upcoming shoots, and she did some fundraising research. That kept us busy.
Glynis is now off on a trip of her own-it’s a much shorter and busier trip than I had, but hopefully will provide her with some positive excess, so that she’s in good spirits when she returns. One can hope.
Another area that raises the question of how much is too much is that of free-or-drastically-reduced labor. As we’ve mentioned, we don’t have much to spend on this project, but we are striving for mainstream broadcast production quality. That means we’ve asked some very talented and experienced (and expensive) people to work for little or nothing. We’ve also compromised in some areas, settling for less experienced people where it seemed to be ok…but it wasn’t. We’ve had attitudes flare up on set due to both of these things. How much is too much to ask of our free/cheap labor? And how much compromise is too much, risking the quality of the end product? I can safely say, we have already more than exceeded the amount of free/cheap labor that we’re entitled to. Luckily, our rockstar team is still energized enough by what we’re achieving to keep going-which is good, because we still have 100 pages of script to shoot! (AAACK!!! Little Freakout there. I’m ok now.) I once said that I was sure that we’d make a lot of mistakes and learn from them during the process, and that was one of the truest things I’ve ever said. You may lose sleep when you screw up, but when you’re forced to try to fix the mistake and move forward, you gain not only experience, but pride in your ability to learn and adapt. As long as neither the mistakes or the pride are too excessive, you can come out ahead. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I did learn that it’s NEVER ok to compromise quality, not when playing with the big boys is your goal.
And how much of this sharing of the intimate details of the problems and challenges of our personal and professional lives is too much? At one point, I resisted Glynis and Montoure’s assertion that people WANT to know the dirty truth. I thought that we should always spin things to make it look easy. But then I realized they are right. Anyone who knows anything knows that doing what we’re doing is NOT easy, so it would be ridiculous to pretend that it is. So we don’t. We tell you when we struggle. We let you know when personal issues are affecting the work. We say shit and fuck, and share details of our alcohol-fueled parties.
Is it all too much? I don’t know. But…we agreed to be honest and open with the community that we’re building about the process of making this show, so hopefully it isn’t.
The point of the sharing is to show that the team making this show is a bunch of messy humans who dream big and make their dreams come true. Messy humans being the key words there, though the time will come when we can admire what we’ve done, have a big party, and celebrate-to excess, of course. Until then, we’ll keep struggling along, enjoying as much of the process as we can. Then, we’ll do something new. That is the way of things.










